Sources on the Liestoppers Blog indicate that Crystal Gayle Mangum, whose global book tour was interrupted by an unfortunate incarceration…will give a press conference this Wednesday outside her home.

All indications are that she is about to announce yet ANOTHER victimization of herself. This is now the stuff of thunderbolts and gypsy curses..a series of events that might inspire future revisionists of the Bible to edit out the accursed but now unimpressive Job….in favor of the all time supreme long-suffering Mangum. Yes, Job held his own admirably for centuries,till Mangum came on the scene…but on the Travails and Tribulations highway…he is just your local UPS driver compared to Mangum’s Ice Road Trucker.

Mangum is the penultimate woman “more sinning against than sinning”…at least in the creaking windmills of her mind and apparently,among her cult following.

Consider the following: to date she has (falsely) accused three Black men and then three White men of violently assaulting her..creating some sort of a equal opportunity Rainbow coalition of Gang Rapists. She has accused her ex-husband (the non-father of her children conceived during their marriage) of attempting to murder her. Before she became, according to the local News and Observer…”a shy young Mother, new to dancing”…she was subjected to a disastrous lap-“frolicking” try-out…which forced her to steal a cab and be traumatized by nearly hitting a cop who had the temerity to leap in her path.

Furthermore, her professional life was marred by further victimization at her “performance obligations” by both clients, co-workers and management ..culminating at its pinnacle in her go-go attire hitting the gravel in the Platinum Club parking lot.

During the Lacrosse Frame, she was cruelly misrepresented by her cross-dressing cousin Clyde on national TV…and by rumors that the child she was to bear was the Duke Lacrosse Baby. Mangum then endured the withering disappointment of the Wise Men of Durham when, lo, they arrived at the Nativity-Scene-to-Save-the-Case…and found to their eternal dismay…that things didn’t SHA_A_A_KE out.

And, yes, when the Duke Lacrosse team was exonerated despite her tireless continued efforts to create new and varied stories to implicate them…Mangum was forced to face her bad karma again. Obviously, she was a victim of an ill-located Laundrymat, visits to which so inconvenienced her…that the Rape Kit contained all that unfortunate non-LAX DNA. She also mourned the reputational and professional demise of her two REAL friends, D.A. Mike Nifong and Investigator Linwood Wilson. Not only is the former no longer a District Attorney (or even an attorney) and the latter, no longer an Investigator, but one has been to jail and the other might be going.

Requests for a Crystal/Linwood penal roommate situation remain at this date in limbo.

Mangum next faced the Foul Winds of Fate, when her Meant-to-Be Best Seller became a Throw-the Trash-down-the Well-er…and failed to generate money from White Boys, Black girls or any combination of gender and skin hue.

If you have any tears, prepare to shed them now.

In the latest, most foul and fickle manifestation of her Supreme Victimhood, Mangum, who once was embraced by her home town of Durham as some cross between Melanie Wilkes and Mother Teresa, now finds herself under indictment and, according to her, under harassment by the police and powers that be. Enduring an assault from another evil male entrant into her life…an incident of spontaneous combustion broke out in her bathroom..whilst she was trying to not to leave this Beau with a bad goodbye. The police arrived on the scene, and after communicating with the Carpetbagger Jihad Central Command in D.C…carted Crystal off, made the bail too high when they know her book didn’t sell…and have even perhaps fabricated evidence.

Actually, what all they have done…we don’t know. We must await the Presser this Wednesday for details.

What will Crystal Mangum say now?

Are the Durham powers-that-be trying to kick Sister Survivor off the Island?

Will Crystal never find a Good Man, an uneventful Bathroom, or a convenient Laundrymat?

Are Duke and the NCNAACP asking themselves…”Can this Metanarrative be saved?”

Check back to StMaryMead this Wednesday for breaking details.


3 Responses

  1. You missed the fact (or did I skip over it in her multi-faceted resume) that this hard working, young mother managed with all her tials and tribulations to receive a degree (wih honors????) from the local college in criminal jurisprudence (or something to that effect) and that she is working on her MA?

    It is hard to keep track of the activities of this go-get em North Carolina citizen. I am surprised taht she has not been touted by the Gang of 88 as a bright and shining star in the pantheon of wronged women.

    Sorry for the sarcasm – I find it difficult to contain myself at times.

  2. “It is hard to keep track of the activities of this go-get em North Carolina citizen. I am surprised taht she has not been touted by the Gang of 88 as a bright and shining star in the pantheon of wronged women.”

    As we’ve learned to our amazement and horror, in this case, anything is possible.

  3. “As we have learned to our amazement and horror, in this case, anything is possible”. – So true.

    The timing of her presser is interesting – particularly given the activities of another of Durham’s finest – Linwood Wilson. Perhaps, given that there is supposed to be an SBI and FBI investigation of the prostitution (and drug?) ring supposedly operating among the confines of the DPD, she has decided to spill what she knows? There have been so many twists and turns that one is at a loss to predict which way the screw will next turn. However, I have thought from the beginning and will continue to believe that all of this (including the lax hoax) is inter-related. I know, from family connections, that there is a “you scratch my hand I will scratch yours” policy among lawyers and judges in North Carolina. It is hard to have much if any respect for those who are supposed to uphold the law when one knows how corrupt the system is.

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