Say What?

I’m thinking if I ever run into President Obama, I’m going to tell him my Swimming-with-Dolphins story.

The Swimming-With-Dolphins Story is a Bermuda story. Mr. F and I honeymooned in Bermuda and it remains one of our favorite places to visit. We got into a pattern over time of going in the Fall, every other year. As time went by, different friends began to join us and sometimes we’ve had 4-5 couples along for the trip. The rule was…”all in” for dinner. At dinner, we announce our individual plans for the next day. Sometimes we’ll opt to do something en masse…but more often we break into little groups or even singles. The essential thing is…. everyone does whatever they please. This is the penultimate secret of the harmony of “Camp Foster”…as the tee-shirts a friend once gave all of us on the first night… jokingly dubbed our autumn trek.

Anyway, on the activities front, Mr. F always opts for the Golf Group. Almost everyday,on these trips, he’ll be in some foursome, heading off to try the various island courses. Let me add here what we all know, because it’s important to my narrative, that golf is an expensive pastime, even more so in Bermuda. I,on the other hand, am just about always in the Beach group, reading my book, enjoying the ocean, pretty much a cheap date.

One year, one of “the girls” came to dinner with a brochure about a “Swimming With The Dolphins” experience at another hotel. She intended to go and wanted to know if anyone was up to join her. When the brochure was passed to me, I looked hard at the photos. Have you ever noticed how BIG dolphins are? They are BIG. My next impression of them is that, in the water, they are very hyperactive…all that leaping about and popping up here and there. All that splashing. So the impression I got is… that if I should join my friend….I would sort of be doing laps with a huge unpredictable mammal while some guy with a whistle (not even in the water, dear God)…was supposedly keeping order. I said nothing but, no way was I going along.

When my husband and I got back to our room, I brought up the Dolphin Swim and was about to confide my fears and negativity when he interrupted me. “That whole thing is ridiculously overpriced. I hope you’re not entertaining throwing away money on something like that.”

Say what?

“Throwing away money?”

“Throwing away money!!” says Mr.-Loose-Change-on-the-Links to…. the Little-Matchstick-Girl-on-the-Beach?

I won’t detail the lively conversation that ensued, but suffice to say, the next morning I had a reservation for the “swim” which would be two long miserable days hence. Convinced I had a good chance of being the first Program fatality, I became moody and melancholy. I became withdrawn while my Friend enthusiastically chirped about it…and bandied that terrifying brochure constantly under my nose. But I had taken my stand with aplomb…and by principle, must now, despite misery… stay the course.

Mr. F was increasingly confused and concerned about my behavior. Wasn’t I fulfilling some life’s dream here? Hadn’t THAT been the point of my rhetoric?

Well no.

Finally, at the last moment to cancel, the truth and tears came out and I….reversed course, backed out, made apologies…and retreated to the serenity of the Beach. Lessons were learned.

Mr. F , I think, learned that one has to consider a larger picture when one chooses ones words. That is very important in martial unions and State of the Union. If wise, one considers the circumstances of the audience vs. your circumstances. One considers not how those words feel to SAY…but how they feel to be HEARD…to your listener.

I learned….when you take a stand and it’s a dumb one…move on.

Anyway, this is a long way around to asking a political question.

What is Obama thinking, with unemployment at 10%, nobody able to sell a house, car-bomb-wannabee’s surfacing in Middle America and Times Square, oil still gushing in the Gulf…and his maniacal taxpayer-funded spending spree on daily display…what is he thinking adopting the Midterm campaign slogan, “Yes, We Did.”

Who is advising this man? How delusional are these sycophants?

Yes, WE DID!

I’m thinking of people in the audience listening to this slogan.

“Yes, you did, Mr. President? Did what?

Yes, you did pass Health-care, Obama. But not one benefit to one person has been seen yet. Meantime, your dishonest “budgeting” has been revealed, you’ve appointed a Medicare czar who applauds rationing, the cost of Heath care insurance is still rising, malpractice lawsuits still inflate the system, and most of us fear that you have been as dishonest about where this is leading FOR US PERSONALLY as you have been about the cost.

So, yes, you did that.

And , yes, to the Black Panther contingent, you dismissed an egregious case of voter intimidation and arrogantly refuse to detail why. Yes, you did.

And, yes, you toured the world, bowing to dictators and despots and dissing our country. Yes, you did.

And, yes, you are suing the state of Arizona…while refusing to do your job and protect our borders form ILLEGAL (get that) ILLEGAL immigrants. You are forcing that cash-strapped State to spend money it needs for police, firemen, welfare, etc…on defending the your “Get-Out-The-Latino-Vote-For-Midterms” inane lawsuit.

Yes, you DID that too.

But no, after blowing all that Stimulus money, you DID NOT keep the unemployment rate under 8%….you GREW it.

But no, after lauding yourself and lambasting our country, you haven’t stopped Iran’s nuclear program or forged potent partnerships for yourself and us around the world.

But no, you haven’t brought our sons home from Iraq or Afghanistan, or closed Guantanamo.

You haven’t brought to Washington a new brand of politics or a civil tone. You haven’t had the class to keep your Celebrity guests from mocking your predecessor at White House soirees.

You haven’t led a quick definitive, imaginative response to the worst ecological event of our lifetime. You haven’t displayed any expertise as the Head Bureaucrat atop a Bureaucratic chaotic Hell, impeding more than advancing the clean-up.

You certainly haven’t lived up to your hype…the pillars, the self-inflating rhetoric, The One We Have Been Waiting For.

I think many Americans…be they in the crowd or watching a snippet on TV…will view your words as ill-chosen as my husband’s, and many of your actions as foolhardy as my subsequent response. Mr. F didn’t consider his own circumstances and the effrontery of his words to his “audience.” I stubbornly made a misguided (for me) decision and almost to the bitter end, refused to change course.

Mr.Obama, every day the Dolphin is looking bigger and smarter than you. The chaos in the holding tank is increasing. The guy with the whistle was laid off months ago. It’s past time you and the acolytes around you…look up and out…and start to understand how your words will be perceived by your American audience.

Mr. Obama, do you really want to be standing in front of America saying… “Yes, we did!”

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That D.C. Reality Show

I don’t watch made-for-TV reality shows too often…. but that’s because I watch government hearings and political event coverage which is pretty much the same thing.

I caught an episode of Toddlers In Tiaras this Wednesday…and probably I won’t tune in to that freak show again any time soon. If I want to watch idiots spending money they don’t have…. on inane frivolities they cannot afford…I can watch Congress on C-span every day of the week. Just a little too repetitive for me.

And, come on, People, the feigned fistfights, the insults, and the low-life puffery of the folks on Jersey Shore could never beat the antics at your standard Congressional hearing. Why not invest your time WATCHING the real deal? The shows we are producing with our tax dollars? You are seriously settling for second best: Seaside Heights has nuthin’ on Washington D.C….trust me.

Take yesterday’s episode.

“Joey-Sweetheart” Barton shot off his mouth and within an hour, everyone was hopping out of the Hearing hot tub, exiting the Shore House and looking to get in on any star-making… viewer-favorite… derriere-drubbing fight scene. Apparently Snookie Pelosi was unavailable for the first filming, so Joe “The Situation” Biden was featured instead. This was a curious choice, I thought. I believe the affable, gaffe-able Biden is always better cast in, say, “The Cake Boss” role capacity….loopy, low-key and just creating marvelous high calorie BS. Biden’s not… buff enough… for the faux parts they currently assign him.

Henry (H-Woww) Waxmann got his share of face-time. He does have that Geek-Gone–Guido-thing goin’ on pretty well. Frankly, I always enjoy any episodes wherein he’s featured. I do think someone needs to give him the faux tan memo however. A rather pasty, but hey…a pugnacious pumping l’il street guy, isn’t he?

But to what POINT? Am I the only one that thinks all of this is severely overacted, redundant and, in practical terms…inane?

I guess I need to focus on the Entertainment value. These D.C. shows are really more like Bob Hope extravaganzas…these politicians are performing for their “troops.” Tonight, on “The Real House-Reps of Washington D.C.”….the drama will reach new heights when….

Lord, give me strength.

Any of you fans of Nancy Grace should be tuning in as well.

Nancy was smarmy-Southern-girl sweet to the late Melinda Duckett compared to the congressional inquisition of BP’s Tony Hayward yesterday . Maybe like Duckett, he’ll kill himself..oh wait, didn’t one of “The Real Reps of Washington D.C.” suggest that ALREADY? Hari-Kari no less. See what I’m talking about, TV fans?

Our Politicians must looking at Nancy’s ratings and believing overplayed outrage might actually pull them up in the polls.

I was expecting the Chairman yesterday to end the hearing with…. “Goodnight Friend.”

What was the practical point of that Theater of the Absurd? (I said “practical.”) Our President, who becomes daily more and more like the ineffectual, seldom needed Bruce Jenner (who haunts the back shots of the Kardashian drama)…has already informed anyone within the sound of his professorial voice that the US Justice Dept is weighing criminal charges against “British Petroleum.” So what did any of these dorks expect Jeffery Skilling..oh, strike that…Tony Hayward.. to actually SAY?

Like these inane reality shows, it’s all diversion. People pretending things. The uninformed grilling the over-lawyered. Professional political bottom feeders who never held a job or met a pay-roll pretending they are experts in everyone else’s field.

Individually, on both sides of the aisle….the average Congressman is as vapid and non-productive as the Guidos and Guidettes of the fake Sea Side Heights; their “contributions” to solving our increasingly hideous problems…just about as significant as the contribution that other show cast makes to our culture. As a nation we are fascinated by low-life types behaving badly. We elevate them for their outrageousness. We tolerate their nothingness. We make them celebrities. We elect them to office.

Everything you ever wanted to know about the state of our Government and our collective morals and malaise….you can find in the average Reality Show and …daily in the power centers of Washington D.C.

Except for the Oval office.

Obama is a throwback.

Every day… I swear….he is actually looking more and more like Barney Fife.

In case you missed the Speech…

yada, yada, yada, got a” Battle plan”

Did I mention Chu was a “Nobel Man?”

yada yada yada,  AUTHORIZE… (but wait?

The GOVERNORS have to “activate??????”)

…………

yada, yada,yada …NEW Leadership.

(But Salazar still guides the Mother Ship?)

yada, yada, yada…NATIONAL COMMISSION

yada, yada, yada,…more hope and “vision.”

……….

Yada, yada, yada …BARRIER REEF

(weeks for the permits while SEEP SEEP, SEEP)

Yada, yada, yada…”SHOULD be”…”SHOULD happen”

yada, yada, yada, …(don’t know…just yappin’)

………

Yada, yada, yada, talked to a fisherman

Yada, yada, yada, wore my good pants

Yada, yada, yada, more “authorize”

Did I mention Chu has a Nobel prize?

……….

yada, yada, yada, gotta go Green hard

Spend, baby, spend..I’m your “Greek” God.

Cap and trade, in God we Trust

Bless the Fleet, then let’s…. blame Bush.

“The One”…comes undone

It’s terrifying when Keith Olbermann and I agree.

After watching Obama’s speech last night, I kept thinking of that great line a dissatisfied  King Lear delivered to a daughter that disappointed him, “Nothing can come of nothing. Speak again.”

Actually, O, don’t bother. Left and right…we’ve heard enough. It’s better to say nothing silently.

I’m sensing your dilemma. You never wanted to be President; you wanted (and still want) to be “The One We Have Been Waiting For.” You want the kingdom, the power and the glory…not the inconvenient terror incidents, veteran’s events, and oil spills. You want pillars behind you and swaying crowds, waving their arms in a mass embrace of you, chanting “Yes! WE Can!”  “Yes, WE Can!”

You didn’t have to offer specifics…just hint…and receive the adulation of the adoring crowds.

YOU were the penultimate American Idol.

Those were the days, huh?  But that’s NOT the job.

You were a stellar campaigner. You were America’s coolest non-custodial parent. It was so easy to trash the soon-to-be Ex and tell us how fabulous life would be with you. You were deliberately vague but that was exceedingly seductive. We could then impose our own future vision of wants and wishes and all the wonder that lay ahead for us WITH YOU… into the empty set of what you actually said. All our friends around the world wished you were… theirs. But you were ours.

So cool.

So now, here we are together and you have full custody of  every problem, crisis and inconvenient family tradition. You now seen peeved. You seem put-upon. You seem  very unprepared. You still want to blame the “ex” but it’s exceedingly clear, you are in over your head yourself. You now seem more shallow than suave….more clueless than cool.

This is probably why your party schedule seemed to ramp up every time the oil spill estimates did. Sir Paul made you feel like “The One”…again.  For one night anyway. “Michelle My Belle.”

This is what you need. Why you are here.

Vacations, golf, celebrity parties. The terrified residents of the Gulf Coast, the tired and discouraged unemployed, the families with the ravaged 401ks watch you with now with narrowed eyes.

The One We Have Been Waiting For, huh?

There’s your trouble, I think.

It’s clear you have a greater burden than other Presidents…than, say,   Bush.  Yes, he faced the greatest terror attack on American soil barely months into his Presidency…but YOU face trying to juggle those dual roles..President of the United States AND…. that other thing….”The One We Have Been Waiting For” deal.  A President must choose, must lead, must make decisions.; The One must try to keep every adoring cow, here and internationally,  in the herd.

That is why, since taking the oath, you have not governed …you have continued to do what you do best…campaign. Essentially, you have opted to go with “The One” gig.  In your campaign, we heard whispers that “Obama talks out of both sides of his mouth.”…but only in small groups…just giving various constituencies, a little private tingle… tempting them with a little private “insight” into what was to come. Officially, as a candidate, you were vague. But, so many people, Left and Right, thought THEY had the inside story. The One We Have Been Waiting for…was just playing it cool; once elected you were their guy. THEY had won BIG with “The One.”

But almost two years in, on almost every contentious decision, from Afghanistan, to”Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, to Guantanamo, to Terror Trials, to the worst ecological disaster of our time…all we get is dithering and words. We are still IN Afghanistan…but , don’t worry, we have a sort-of date to get out.  We are closing Guantanamo, but not yet. We are abolishing DADT, but only when the military agrees. We are new and clean, except when we are making old school Chicago pol deals. We are “kicking ass” but real vague on names or giving details.

We observe the standard slippery, completely self-involved political machine in action; that’s the mindset that now stands between the American people and financial, ecological, and/or  actual mass destruction.

As our President, you are still trying to be magically vague….confusingly cool. All things to all people…because your Presidency is all about YOU. You have been adored for imagery, not action…so you cling to the former and avoid the latter. Going back to my non custodial parent riff…you appoint czars and intermediaries…essentially babysitters and nannies to take the heat and pressure off yourself. Someone to fire and blame and make the hard choices.

You, President Obama, avoid responsibility, hard choices, tough love.

Yes, Obama, the cool non custodial parent is now in over his head. Our international friends now think he’s kind of a weak, dopey Dad…and they have gotten more obnoxious and bold. Every day, he pushes us to pay MORE for more Big Government but  every day, he acts as Poster boy for  the false promises and ineffectiveness of Big Government.  We’re starting to wonder why we chose to live with this fool.  We’re starting to fear  his crazy spending will  leave us without a roof over our head a few years from now.  When we look closer now…we see  the shallowness underneath the artful spin.

Obama needs to be loved too much. He’s too into himself. He has no fire in his gut or great attachment to anything other than himself…certainly not us. Like so many “custody fights”…this  was about POWER…NEVER about…US.

If Obama is The One We Have Been Waiting For…a lot of us have been at the wrong bus stop.

The Cool One is still singing…but increasingly, no one’s dancing along.